Nobody goes into parenting with all the answers. Along the way, our children teach us just as much as we teach them — about patience, perspective and what truly matters.

This Father’s Day, two dads from the Singapore Red Cross reflect on how fatherhood has shaped their approach to life and work, and the lessons learned along the way.

Father of Two and Father-Figure to More

A year and a half ago, Muhammad Syaiful joined the Singapore Red Cross’ Young Hearts (YH) team, where he manages operation needs, policy planning and mentoring sessions with the students. With a background in working with children and youth, he was naturally drawn to the YH programme.

“I’ve always believed that what we teach and invest in our younger generation will shape the kind of society we eventually live in. Young Hearts feels like a meaningful space where I can continue making a difference.”

As a father of two young children, Syaiful is often reminded that every child should be treated with patience, care, and understanding — the same way he hopes others would treat his own kids.

Syaiful with his two children.

“It also pushes me to do the best I can for them, because every child deserves someone who believes in them.“

But the influence goes both ways. Working closely with children and youth in YH has made him more intentional as a parent — reminding him that every child is unique. They learn differently, express emotions differently, and need support in different ways.

“Sometimes, the smallest moments and conversations can mean the most to a child.”

Over the years, he also learned that being a father is not just about providing. More importantly, it is about being present, listening, and creating memories together.

“I try to remind myself that work is important, but family is irreplaceable. So even on busy days, I carve out intentional time for my kids. It may not be perfect, but being fully present matters more than being perfect.”

His favourite thing about being a dad? Having the opportunity to shape his children’s characters and values. In turn, his children have moulded him into a more patient, softer and fun version of himself.

And this is the same reason he chose to work in the YH programme.

“Children and youth are like little sponges. They absorb values, habits, and experiences so quickly. Knowing that even small acts of encouragement or guidance can leave a lasting impact is what keeps me passionate.”

One memory that stayed with him was during a team-building event, where students from different centres came together. Despite starting the day out as strangers, they were cheering each other on by the end of the day, and working together like old friends.

Watching them naturally support and encourage each other is a reminder of the power of community and kindness — a lesson he hopes to nurture not only in young people he works with, but also in his own children.

Nurturing Kindness at Home and Beyond

As part of the Singapore Red Cross’ fundraising team, Jake Tan works behind the scenes to connect donors with humanitarian causes. After nearly two decades across different industries, he wanted to join a workplace where he could contribute meaningfully to society.

“With SRC, it felt like the right fit. It's essentially marketing and business, but instead of selling a product, you're making the case for why the world should be a little more generous. Connecting people to a cause they believe in feels like something worth doing.”

While his two children know his work involves helping the communities, they often picture ambulances and fire engines more than digital fundraising and ad campaigns. 

“I tell them I build robots — operational systems and fundraising campaigns — which isn't entirely wrong. The specifics can wait. What I try to pass on now is simpler. To always be kind and to not judge.”

But beyond explaining what he does, Jake hopes his children will understand why he does it.

“I want them to know that kindness isn't weakness. And that showing up for other people, even strangers, is always worth it.”

As a dad, he is conscious that the examples he sets for his children extends beyond conversations at home. For Jake, the work he does at SRC is part of that.

“It’s one way of saying to my kids: this is what we do, we show up for people.”

Being a friend and mentor to his kids is a privilege he does not take for granted, enjoying every moment he gets to encourage them to explore, create and express themselves freely.

At the same time, his children have taught him lessons of their own.

“Mostly patience, and that they need my heart way more than my brain. Kids really just need us to show up and be present — even in their melt-downs. We need to be their unwavering pillar of steadiness.”

Although work never fully switches off, it is a balance he continues to navigate.

“When I make time for my kids, that’s where my mind and heart are, not half-distracted on my phone. They get me, not the leftovers of me.”

Those moments with his children also shape how he thinks about the future. Apart from being a present father, he hopes to play a huge role in building a more compassionate society for the next generation.

“My hope is they get to grow up in a world with a bit more heart, where we are more gracious to one another. And in a big way, what we do at SRC is a nudge in that direction, reminding people that kindness and generosity is still worth it.”

 As his children grow, he hopes they will carry these values with them and know that no matter what, he will always be in their corner.